There Are Nights I Can Still Feel You
by VanishRain
Summary: Temperance Brennan is left to experience something she never thought in a million years she would encounter. All her calculated risks and closely guarded emotions were shattered in a second that rocked the forensic anthropologist to the core.
1. The Stars Are Cradling You Tonight

**Chapter One: The Stars Are Cradling You Tonight**

"Wake up, Bren." A soft voice called as Temperance's body lightly shook, "It's time."

"No." She defiantly growled, "Not now. Not ever."

Sure, she knew their jobs were risky but never in a thousand years would she have thought things would have unfolded the way they had. Yet as she rolled onto her side Temperance knew it was time. It had only been a few days but through those few days she had gone to hell and back. If that is what it took to get back her angel, Temperance Brennan would have made the trip a million times over. A simple smile or wave goodbye was all she asked in return, just the knowledge she loved him more than life itself.

Maybe if she would have just made him wait, maybe if she would have called, things would not have ended how they had. But there she sat, forcing herself to momentarily stay in a dreamland; a land where she could live in the land of innocence and truth, a land that had finally taken its last breath.

As her eyes fluttered open the bright light of the morning burned her corneas, adding to the bright red and swollen demeanor they had taken over the last week. Her body ached but she knew this was something she had to do, that he would have wanted. Even if it killed her, she would do this one last thing for him, she had to. Her ravished body quaked as she threw her comforter back, revealing her meek and frail body to the world. The body that was slowly draining, second by second, as she had to learn to live with just half a heart.

"Morning sweetie." Angela softly smiled, "There is coffee and donuts in the kitchen if you are hungry."

As Temperance slowly slid off the side of the bed, Angela's hands clenched her shoulder tightly, causing her eyes to dart up toward the only figure that had not left her side in four days.

"No." Temperance spat as she shoved Angela aside before collapsing once more.

"Booth would have wanted you to eat, Bren." Angela knowing frowned as a shattered heart was displayed for all to see, "I know you're grieving, we all are; but you haven't eaten in three days. You need to be here for Parker, to remind him of the wonderful man his father was and one thing he was adamant on was your eating habits. Bren... please, don't make me beg." Angela pleaded but the ghost shadows darting across Temperance's blues spoke of an emptiness no rational could ever fill.

With a soft grumble, Temperance stood and slowly strolled toward the shower. At least as the warm liquid mixed with her never ending tears, she knew in that moment that he would be with her always. There was a little piece of him in everyone he had grown to love and maybe, just maybe, if she let that piece shine people would know that heaven can be found in even the pits of dispair.

"_Night Bones." Booth smiled as he dropped his partner off at the Jeffersonian, "Are you sure you don't want me to help you with your stuff?"_

_With a sharply timed glare and shrug, Temperance slung her two bags over her shoulders and gathered the last remaining folders at her feet. Her eyes drew up to find her partner squarely where the passenger side door used to be._

"_Come on, Bones, just this once." He smiled, charmingly._

_"Booth, I am fully capable of carrying my own folders. I carried them to your car, didn't I?"_

"_Yeah, but... well... it isn't always a bad thing to have help. We are partners in crime."_

_"Booth, we do not engage in criminal activities." Temperance huffed as she made wide strides toward the glass doors before her._

"_But we do solve them, Bones." _

"_That does not make us partners in a criminal enterprise."_

"_Well, if being sexy is criminal then..." Booth huskily growled, unable to keep from licking his lips at the sight before him._

_"Booth!" Temperance shrilled, momentarily loosing her calm and collected composure._

"_So I am right." Booth grinned, "Calling you sexy, the kryptonite."_

"_If you keep trying to debate exactly what our job descriptions entail you are going to be late for Parker's game" Temperance softly reminded before pushing the door in front of her open and slipping between the glass panes._

"_Hey! Bones!" Temperance heard her partner's call but with a flick of her wrist, she knew if she expected to make a surprise visit to Parker's game at all she had no time for silly, flirtatious arguments of no relevance._

"Maybe if I would have just turned around..." Brennan whispered as the last moments she had with her partner played over and over in her head. "Maybe, just maybe..." Her voice finally cracked as her head came crashing down against the cool title of her shower stall.

"Maybe it would have been me."


	2. Every Subtle Thing Screams Your Name

**Chapter Two: Every Subtle Thing Screams Your Name**

People slowly shuffled into the chapel, smiling and nodding toward the former partner draped in black and clenching the small trinkets she had received over the years. As silly as it sounded, when they were around the daily anguish that seemed to follow her every passing second faded, and briefly, for that moment she felt loved. The memories of each and every gift he had ever given her danced lightly against the grim reality that those small trinkets would be the only tangible evidence of a love lost in time and space.

Maybe, she thought, if she could hope enough he would come running back toward her open arms but as the chapel began to quickly fill, Temperance knew deep down this would be one goodbye that would never seem right. She had said goodbye to him on thousands of different occasions but this occasion was much different then the others. There would no longer be a light at the end of the tunnel, just a long, dark tunnel she would have to walk alone.

Setting down the trinkets on the table before her, Temperance felt the warmth of a man she had long since forgotten. This man, even with all his faults, wrapped his arms delicately around her until the only she could feel was a comfort only he could provide.

"That tickles." Temperance's sheepish voice cracked a small smile as the man rubbed his scruffy beard against her delicate skin. "Stttoooop it." She teased, fighting the warmth that this man could provide to a soul lost long ago. It had been long since she had felt the love only this man could provide, but as he pulled her body flush with his own she knew all his broken promises no longer matter. Above all, he was love even if it was a shattered, destructive love.

"That's my girl." The man grinned, "See, I knew that you could smile."

"Dad..." Temperance whispered as her father turned her in his arms, "This is not a time to engage in childish activities. This... this is..." Her voice shattered, unable to formulate the emotions swirling around her head.

"A celebration of a life." He affirmed as he tipped her face to meet his, "It only has to be what we make of it, Tempie. If you want it to be something wonderful that everyone will remember then that is what it will be. It doesn't have to be something that is shrouded in doom and gloom. He was a very loved man and that is something to be celebrated. Even though our world may be dark and gray without him, the angels are rejoicing in the newly winged man above."

"Dad, the improbability that there truly are angels and he possessed the skills too..." Temperance began to ramble, unable to finally let her rational crutch fall at her feet without her guardian angel to catch her.

"With all the good deeds he did and the faith he possessed, God would have been silly to let a man of that caliber fall from his grasp. The man exuded love and if that doesn't make him good enough then I don't know what will." Max smiled, trying to soothe his daughter's aching heart but as her face began to fall once more he knew the shallowness in her eyes was about much more than where her partner's soul lie.

"But Dad..." Temperance froze, unable to speak the one secret she had been able to keep. "What if he never..."

"I know, I know but you also know he knows." Max lightly smiled against his daughter's grey orbs, "He may have been acting like a damn fool but the boy knew. It was evident in that goofy little smile he got when you were around. The man was head over-heals for you and a man could not have it that bad if he didn't on some deep level know you felt the same."

"What if he didn't? What if he didn't know I..." Temperance's voice broke in a heartbreaking fashion. During the last week she had been able to at least keep herself from shattering completely in public but as the secret bubbled within it was much more than her weak heart could take. She thought she had a lifetime of chances, but as she watched the time with him slip between her fingers she now knew a lifetime would never have been enough to profess matters of the heart and soul.

"Then tell him." Max smiled as his eyes darted across the filling chapel, "And do it soon. The service is about to start."

"I cannot..." Temperance looked up from her palms to find she was talking to vacant air, just as her father had asked her to do. It was silly then and still silly now. Her partner was nothing more than skin and bones, his organs had stopped functioning long ago. It was childish to think he could actually hear her pleading heart cry out his name in sheer agony. She had lost her chance to change fate even if in the end fate was all he had given her.

"Bones!" Temperance heard a young man shrill, breaking the silence between the fight of Temperance's heart and her unshakeable rational, "Look, at that rainbow." The young man smiled as his finger jolted out from his side toward the bright colours radiating from the darkest of grey skies.

Slowly turning toward the window Temperance found her body flood with warmth for the first time she could remember. It was silly to think something so scientific as a rainbow could hold the answers her heart sought but as her body filled with an unmistakable warmth only one man could provide, she knew the truth.

"Daddy is saying goodbye." The young man smiled as he nuzzled into the safety of a mother he had long since forgotten, "Isn't he?"

"Yes," Temperance smiled for the first time in weeks, "Yes, he is."

As the sun finally broke through the clouds, Temperance's eyes twinkled against the bright light now radiating from above. And in that moment, as she filled with love she knew her father was right.

"I love you too." She laughed lightly as her eyes finally fell, "And you know I always will."


	3. The Truth Among The Shards of My Heart

**Chapter 3: The Truth Among The Shards of My Heart**

_Note: I would like to thank everyone that has read so far and is still with me. The ability to get these feelings out has really helped the other writing areas and I am actually working on something happy._

It was not that she hadn't tried but as Temperance stared at her blank computer screen, writing about a happily ever after was just one thing her fingers refused to type. How was she able to write about something she had only had a taste of, only to let her chance slip through her fingers as quickly as it came?

She knew this was something he would have wanted her to finish but as the days turned into weeks, her ability to stay calm and calculated under her icy exterior was finally starting to crack. Damn him and his ability to leave her with the knowledge of what he would want but no way to provide a love as strong as his to the masses that waited longingly for the last novel in her saga. She knew it was idiotic to try and write of a love eternally in the making but as the tears began to fall once more; she also knew the only way to discover the depths of his love was to search the mind of the character that only held her partner's soul now.

"Still stuck on that chapter, huh?" Angela smiled as she hovered in the doorway, watching her best friend's eyes twinkle against the tear stained keyboard.

With a slight shake of the head, Temperance looked up toward the woman standing before. The woman radiated pure bliss without even trying, and as Temperance slowly slipped further and further into her despair the ability to feel anything was not something she could comprehend anymore.

Taking in a deep breath, Angela sighed at the sight before her. Day in and day out, Temperance sat at her desk staring at her computer and just cried. For weeks, everyone had tried to break her of her cycle but the heartbreak she radiated was more than anyone could mange for long. The woman was destroying herself and it seemed nothing could save her now.

"I know you have a deadline," Angela sighed once more as her best friend sat silent, "But everyone is going to Founding Father's to celebrate Cam's promotion and we would all love it if you came along. I am sure the children would love to see their aunt Temperance more before summer vacation." Angela smiled, unable to keep a smile from creeping upon her lips.

But her smile quickly faded as she watched Temperance extend her hand down before slamming a picture frame onto her desk, causing glass to fly around the room.

"No." The woman's voice held strong, "I need to finish my work by my deadline. They want to know the truth."

She knew it was of no use but Angela had to at least try anyway; watching her best friend slip away from the only family she ever had was devastating, but she also knew how devastating heartbreak could truly be.

"Okay, well, you know where we will be." Angela slipped her purse back over her shoulder but refused to do more than turn around, knowing there was more behind the tear laden eyes then just grief.

"You're lucky he gave you a second chance." After a brief pause Temperance's meager voice floated across the void the loneliness created. "Even after all these years" Temperance swallowed as her best friend finally turned to face her once more, "I just thought...

"Awe, Sweetie" Angela tried to soothe as her best friend finally broke, "If Booth had the chance I am sure he would have chosen to stay with you. The man would have done anything to give you what you desired. He didn't want to leave you like this but some things they just... happen. He couldn't control what happened that night, Bren; and neither could you so why don't you shut down your computer and let's go out for the night? Just the two of us instead, it will be fun."

"But he didn't chose me." Temperance blankly spoke, ignoring her friend's invitation, "He... he just..." Temperance clenched her fists not in anger but in a vain attempt to keep a slight dose of sanity, "He left me with all these damn feelings and desires, and all for what? So I can be a lonely old hermit that no one realizes is dead?"

Temperance huffed as she quickly looked away. This discussion was supposed to be about her declining of an invitation to a party, not her inner turmoil over her lack of ever being chosen. She was falling apart quicker then she had ever imagined and if a simple discussion about a party had made her snap she wondered if she would ever gain control again.

"Maybe Sweets was right." Temperance mused out loud, "Maybe I just need to..."

"No," Angela growled as she took a step toward the desk, trying to save her friend from her inner demons, "Everyone at that party loves you. You know they do. Hell, everyone at Booth's funeral were more worried about you then about their actual grief. We are a family, it doesn't matter what you do to us we will be there for you. I am sorry to stay but you're stuck with us for life."

"Really?" Temperance's voice was soft and angelic as her eyes grew wide in amazement. She had known that theoretically families were there for each other in times of turmoil but all this time she assumed that any hope of a family had died with her partner.

"Yes." Angela nodded emphatically as she jerked Temperance from her chair, "And there may not have been anyone that loved you anymore than he did, but you do have a family that would do anything for you, including putting you before their own grief. Now why don't you just shut down that computer and spend time with that family. They may not be much, but you're stuck with us."

With a slight jerk back Temperance attempted to sit back down, but Angela's grasp held firm.

"I wasn't asking you to, Bren. You are leaving this office right this instant and coming to the party." Angela's eyes narrowed as her motherly instincts kicked in, determined to win this argument.

"But..."

"If I have to resurrect Seeley Booth himself to get you out of this office, I will and you don't want to deal with his wrath now do you Bren?"

With a slight shrug Temperance finally gave in with little fight. She knew when to admit defeat and the look in Angela's eyes proved this was one argument she would never win.

"Good. Now meet me at my car in ten." Angela smiled before releasing her best friend and bounding out of the office, "I mean it, Temperance!"

Before leaving her office for the night Temperance flipped over the broken picture frame, revealing her knight's arms wrapped tightly around her dark red ballroom dress. The night that changed everything.

"You were always my white knight." She mumbled lightly toward the picture frame before turning off the lights, "I hope you knew that, Seeley."


	4. Living the Dream

Chapter Four: Living the Dream

"_Eight o'clock on the dot." A man standing in the doorway bellowed, "If we don't hurry up they will not have any cherry left and you know I gotta have my cherry."_

_As Temperance's eyes rose to view the shadowy man before her, she couldn't help but blink at the blur of an all too familiar silhouette. His perfect smile drawing her in as his head slowly titled to the side in adoration. Perfection was standing before her and all she could do was follow the rhythmic breathing that seemed to draw her deeper and deeper into the shadow of her internal torment._

"_What's wrong, Bones?" The man innocently asked as his heart began to break at the hollowness before him._

"_Bo-Booth?" Temperance's voice cracked as the man finally stepped into view._

"_No, it's your other partner." The man smirked as he slowly strolled toward the frightened anthropologist, "Who did you think would be here at this hour on a Friday?"_

"_I… I just thought…" Temperance's voice trembled as his rough hands slid down her silky skin, "I thought that you had…"_

"Shh," The man soothed as his hands tightened around the trembling woman, "It's the weekend; you don't need to do anymore thinking until Monday. Now hurry up before I eat all the pie and leave you with an empty tin."

"_But…"_

"_No." The man barked as he spun his partner to meet his adoring gaze, "You have been working yourself to death and I will have no more of it. I have been waiting weeks for this event and if I have to drag you out of here kicking and screaming then I will do just that. You promised months ago and I will not let you go back on your word now, Bones. You owe this to me. You are coming with me and you are eating pie!" _

"_It's just pie, Booth." Temperance lightly teased as she tried to squirm out of her partner's grasp, "Just fruit, sugar and a crust, nothing more." _

"_It is not just any old pie." Booth smiled as he pulled Temperance's body flush with his own, "It is the best pie in the world… in the universe!" The man raggedly huffed before turning and storming out into the dark hallway._

"_But…"_

"_You got five minutes!" The man called as the doors clicked behind him. _

"_I… I need a lifetime." Temperance faintly whispered as her eyes watched the last figments of a man she once loved fade into the haze of the florescent lighting._

_Temperance couldn't help but give into the torment ravishing her body. He was there in the flesh, or so it seemed, and her rational science had no way of explaining the warmth her body now seemed to be lacking._

_She rationally knew all she had to was place one foot in front of the other, and within seconds she would be in his arms again. The impossible would be proven reality if she could just force her body to do more than shake. But as her world began to fade to black once more she knew sometimes the impossible is really just impossible._

As the sun began to creep into her bedroom a flood of regret froze her tear stained face. Pulling the covers tightly over body, Temperance wondered if living a life without her soul mate was really worth living at all. And as a small, faint heartbreak began to lull her back to sleep she began to wonder if a few strands of DNA was really enough to get her through the endless nights of sorrow to come.


End file.
